Welcome to Awesome Things ©

Here at Awesome Things © we believe in bringing you the latest and greatest in awesome things from around the web. It is our mission to ensure that, whenever you're feeling bored or dwelling too much on your own mortality, we can provide an interesting distraction which also doubles up as a learning opportunity.

So, grab yourself a cup of coffee, a stick of lard from the mulch refineries, sit back and get learning. You never know when obscure and interesting facts will become life-savingly useful tips in this crazy, mixed up, post-apocalyptic world of ours! :)

Explosion
Shit just got real
Z Liner Mk-I
Weight:
Lots
Crew Capacity:
2200 Zombies
Horsepower:
20 million
Bacon:
yummy

Z Liner Mk-I


The Mk-I Z Liner was the first of the zombie battleships to enter service in the aftermath The Greatest War. The Baker's Association, having suffered their heaviest defeat in the Battle of the Baguettes, no longer possessed the manpower to launch a counter-offensive.

The solution came in the form of the Z Liner. Built from cheap materials scavenged from the ruins of the triple cities, the liners were mass produced and filled with the ample stock available at the zombie fields following the war.

The Z Liners proved profoundly successful and were responsible for the decimation of the Yoghurtier forces by the end of 2053, ultimately playing a major part in the dawning of the Fifth Renaissance.

Maplethorn Castles
Weight:
I dunno, what does sand weigh?
Crew Capacity:
4122 pikemen
Horsepower:
0
Bacon:
streaky

Maplethorn Castles


Lord Bashner of the 47th brigade held the beaches of Maplethorn for 276 days with a line of expertly crafted sandcastle fortifications. More than 150km of beachfront are purported to have been subjected to a continuous assault by the Brushforks for the better part of a year. The Brushforks vigorously deny this, and claim instead that the Harlequin Zanni were responsible, having merely removed their masks and disguised themselves appropriately

Bashner's troops are quick to point out that these allegations make no sense, given that the Harlequins are not capable of flight under their own power.

Whatever the truth, Bashner and his troops managed to hold the beach without suffering a single casualty, thus allowing the Magenta Alliance the time to complete construction of the first Quantum Ovoid - spelling the beginning of the end for the Fourth Renaissance.

This tactic has never been successfully repeated.

Horse
Weight:
3 metric tons
Crew Capacity:
2 jockeys (minimum)
Horsepower:
12
Bacon:
maple glazed

Irish Wolfhorse


Beautiful, isn't it? The Irish Wolfhorse, pictured with here with a Giant Fluffhound, is one of the largest horses yet bred by mankind. Perhaps most notable for looking distinctly dog-like, this majestic horse stands at over 16 feet in height and requires a jetladder to mount.

Due to its size and wilful nature, the Irish Wolfhorse requires a minimum of two jockeys to control. When utilised in battle, the Wolfhorse is usually equipped with a small cockpit where the saddle would traditionally be placed. The cockpit is typically reinforced with steel plating to protect the riders from small arms fire.

First introduced in 2034 during the early stages of the War of the Clowns, the Irish Wolfhorse was used to great effect in the Battle of the Red Noses.